Cat owner invites 32-year-old sister to dinner, but the sister's husband refuses to bring their 1-month-old baby because cats are “disgusting”, the sister takes his side, saying she will only see each other if she gets rid of the felines

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
May 19, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

We've realized, over our time writing for ICHC, that a lot of people don't understand cats and cat ownership. We thought, as cat owners ourselves, that cats are pretty easy to understand. Of course, they have their quirks that we still haven't quite figured out, like why cats like screaming at closed doors all the time, or why cats always follow us to the bathroom, or why cats decide that the best time to run at full speed across our faces is in the middle of the night when we're sleeping. 

Other than those things, we think cats are pretty straight-forward creatures. And we think that cat ownership is even easier to understand - cats are family, cats are important to us, and no, no matter how much our sister and our sister's husband asks for it, we are not going to get rid of our cats because you think that they are disgusting and that your 1-month-old should not be around them. Sorry, not sorry, cats first, insensitive family members second. 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] For telling my sister's husband that babies are disgusting?"

    "My sister just told me to give [my cats] away so we can see each other."
    via Unsplash / Toni Tan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I have 4 cats that are basically my babies. They are clean, friendly and I keep my house nice and clean. I have had them for years
    via Violet2477
  • 03
    My sister (32F) married and with a months old baby so we have lost touch a bit, I invited her over for dinner with her husband and baby, but husband remembered the cats and said "those cats are going to be a problem".
    via Violet2477
  • 04
    I asked him why, and he said it's disgusting and unhealthy for the baby and he didn't want to be in a house where they were running loose.
    via Violet2477
  • 05
    I offered to have them in a separate room just for dinner. He said even that wasn't enough, that he wouldn't feel "comfortable" or "safe" knowing they were around and that their hair could be all over the place.
    via Violet2477
  • 06
    He said if I really cared about my sister, I would consider giving them away I got a little upset and told him I wasn't going to give them away and if so they were never going to come to my house, but what could I go to theirs, he said no, he was thinking about it and I must be covered in germs because my clothes and environment is full of them.
    via Violet2477
  • 07
    I got mad and told him that if it was germs that his house was even dirtier because babies are disgusting.
    via Violet2477
  • 08
    My sister just told me to give them away so we can see each other.
    via Violet2477
  • 09
    Am I an idiot for telling my sister's husband that babies are gross too or does the answer justify the anger of the moment?
    via Violet2477

  • No, you are not in the wrong here. Not at all. To us, it seems like you were as flexible as you possibly could have been, offering every solution possible. Getting rid of the cats is not an option. Now, the sister's husband saying that… fine, whatever, but the sister giving you this ultimatum… no, unacceptable. Cats first. Sis needs to apologize. 

  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10506894080
    via Unsplash / Aleksandar Kashtanov - ksht

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 11
    Dhole_Otters_Redwall NTA but be careful. He's an idiot. Plain as that. Just as you said your cats are clean and friendly, and the house is clean. If he thinks coming over for dinner and even putting the cats in a different room isn't enough, then there's something wrong with him.
    via Dhole_Otters_Redwall
  • 12
    Even worse is suggesting you give the cats away, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, especially since they're clearly clean and well behaved. Your sister agreeing is also annoying and you probably should talk with her. That's a really dumb solution to a small problem (putting them in a different room is a perfectly fine solution).
    via Dhole_Otters_Redwall
  • 13
    I only said be careful because if you stoop to his level and start insulting the babies too much, then you'll make things worse. You're good for now though OP!
    via Dhole_Otters_Redwall
  • 14
    Violet2477 OP I know that's why after that I felt a little bad because it's those situations where you say something and just when the words are coming out of your mouth you realize that maybe they weren't the best ones. But I was really angry my sister knows I have had those cats for a lot longer than the time she already has with her husband how could she say something like that.
    via Violet2477
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10506900224
    via Unsplash / Ignacio Amenábar

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    GothPenguin You should have told your sister that she should give the baby away so the baby is safe and you can see each other/s Seriously, it wasn't the best thing to say but I'm right there with you. The four legged creatures that run my house are family. Anyone who tells you to get rid of them is automatically an a h_le. At least that's what the cat told me. NTA
    via GothPenguin
  • 17
    Violet2477 OP It's super illogical, I could have gone to his house and even brought dinner with me.
    via Violet2477
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10506900736
    via Unsplash / Yuriy Vertikov - noa69

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Also, let's be honest, while babies don't shed quite as much as cats do, they create a far bigger mess than any cat ever could. And we deal with it, and we love them anyway. This man - and the sister - are being entirely unreasonable. 

  • 19
    growsonwalls NTA but your sister seems to be suffering from some post-partum anxiety. This kind of irrational paranoia is actually very common.
    via growsonwalls
  • 20
    Violet2477 OP Maybe lately I don't know what's going on with her life
    via Violet2477
  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 10506894336
    via Unsplash / Toni Tan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 22
    58msd They can't tell you to give away your fur babies anymore than you can tell them to give away their baby. Let your sister know you are interested in maintaining a relationship but you are not giving up your cats.
    via 58msd
  • 23
    Violet2477 OP Exactly
    via Violet2477

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